Self-analyzation is a tricky thing. I find it more often than not where I question my own sanity.
With all my theories and thoughts of why things happen and why people do the things they do, I question if it’s really me who’s doing the thing that needs to be analyzed.
Sometimes I want to leave. And sometimes I’d rather not.
I face challenges like these more often than I should so I find myself questioning my own sanity.
Should I leave? is always a question I ask. Why would I?
I think the thought brings a sort of peace, an escape from my problems.
It makes me nervous when I stay too long and even more when I have a reason to.
Where would I go?
Am I too scared to die?
I cry because I want to go home. Back to oblivion where I feel I only belong. Am I too scared to die?
Some people rather run than face their demons and I’m picking up more of these traits than I should be.
My teachers tell me there is no escape and in loops is where I’ll be running.
These days I’m living memorable dreams and things I couldn’t possibly forget. It’s these moments I long to scribble on paper.
Still the moon hangs above me and I cry at the foot of it’s light.
I hear you, I tell it. I feel you.
I run in circles more often than I should and I question if it’s really me who lacks sanity.
I live my days in love and peace, wandering until I find home.
It’s these days I live for.
And then there’s some, like today, where I’d just rather not.
-Natalia