Because it feels like I can’t breathe.
Distract me from my mistakes because it’s getting hard to see;
contemplating therapy.
God has a chokehold on me while the humans of this world pick at every scab on my skin.
Is it sad I enjoy it?
Is it sad I enjoy the thrill of getting massacred and killed?
Harder, faster;
もともと;
and its more than my breath that I’m losing.
I’m in a BDSM relationship with the world waiting for life to beat me in the ass but instead it hits me only where it hurts.
And not where I want it.
Is this why I did it?
To find my words?
Do I only thrive from the pain?
A devils accomplice I’m sure of it;
going behind his back looking for God.
Looking for salvation.
Looking to be saved.
So I look into eyes;
eyes of anyone I can see—
searching for something more;
something inside of me.
–Natalia