And I do wonder if I will lose my words some day.
Hopefully, it’ll be intentional.
Some may take me as a fool for wanting such simplicity in life.
Why would she build up something so big and then leave it all behind?
Why not?
See our problem is we attach ourselves to things we’re either going to lose or let go in the end anyways.
A-ttach-ment. That’s what it is.
I watch those who engage with things of really no matter and see passion poured into all the wrong places.
But who am I to say? No one really.
The days go by and my life keeps changing every second it gets a chance and I feel like I’m being hit by a train over and over again——-
Would they ever guess? That too is of no matter.
Instead I try to seep into peoples Souls in search for something more real than that thing you were gonna show me.
Real. That’s what I look for. In everything. But rather get faced with illusion after illusion and those who try to paint the best picture they can.
No one knows what they’re doing. No, they’ll try to convince you they know more of what they’re doing than that person or spend their time trying to convince themselves—how awful.
My life flows between this human condition is not that bad and how will I survive.
How could you expect anything out of someone like that?
But they promote me anyways;
put power in my hands because I care for the world yet I’m continuously finding my own faults and wrinkles down the line.
They never told me I’d fall in love with every single being I met.
How would they have known?
Oh, but Baba knew. Baba knew and we had to find out.
I imagine him laughing at the irony of his Love All.
So I struggle. Struggle with the pain and easiness of my existence and struggle with the loss of things I never had.
Some days I don’t know what I live for.
But I push myself through like a phase in my head, making its rounds.
I hope you’ve been well.
If not, I’m here.
Talk soon?
-Natalia