Do I have a reason to be?
Others being scared for me—-scares me.
Please stop.
I’m more scared of things that have no matter. Not for my life.
Away with it for all I care.
Gruesome? Maybe.
And still I laugh at the stupidity that spills out my mouth.
Why do I try? I think that’s a good question.
Why can’t I settle and be happy? Why must I endlessly throw myself down metaphorical stairs?
To spice things up? Maybe.
I think that’s even more dumb.
Because I’m a human that has subconscious trauma and unknowingly (but knowingly) repeats cycles until I become aware of them? Who knows?
Anyway—
I just think it’s all very interesting.
I also think that this blog has probably seen every side of me. Something about that fulfills me.
It’s like this is the place where I have been the most authentic version of myself without holding back throughout the years that I started writing on here.
And you can see overtime the transitions and people I have become.
Is this what it’s like to be human?
Everlasting change–
emotions–
the battle of the mind.
So I sit
in the corner of some spot in LA
asking those to stop “giving me signs” and leave the Universe out of this.
I thought I was in charge! LOL
Think again kid.
-Natalia