Is it real? I may not know.
I am tired of thinking I know everything about myself and what I want. I don’t and I probably never will.
This is why I don’t trust myself with things like this.
I am here withering away all that I took as reality.
What of me now?
I beg in front of a Love that only knows the answer.
What did she say?
Oh, that I will soon come to an answer. And to accept it despite my integrity.
That really said something.
And now I write this to you, as I’ve been waiting to.
Why do I begin things I cannot finish?
This saddens me terribly.
Will I ever know?
What of my life?
Where will I go?
This I never knew and it’s like something within tries hard to hold onto something tangible.
Maybe I’m scared.
I’m more lost and afraid than I thought.
Who else can admit that?
It’s late and I’ll continue this night.
I’ve been here. In this home.
-Natalia