Time passes me by while I watch the clock tick on the wall.
In the mountains; I imagined myself a few years back.
In the mountains still–I see myself in the future.
I used to be so drawn to the ocean when I was younger.
I’d stare out to the sea endlessly as if my freedom were out there somewhere.
Even as a child I knew I was bound;
bound by this body, my environment, my age.
I knew there was something big out there–always.
Maybe that’s why my search for God began so early.
Since I could remember, I’ve always searched;
searched for the mystical, the magical, the inconceivable. I knew it existed.
At 17, I found the mystery I was looking for; but how to solve it was my next mission.
That search lasted only a couple of years until I realized there was no salvation in solving the insolvable, only psychosis and devastation.
The ocean that always represented infinite possibility, freedom, and the unknown, had found me again in my adolescence–as the mountains.
Now I gaze upon them now and then, imagining my life as a wandering sage; with the ground beneath me and a heart and mind in the heavens.
Find me Lord, I whisper in prayer.
I’m not getting any younger. I’m honestly not sure if I’m getting any wiser either.
But I still have the heart of a seeker;
whether it’s the ocean or the mountains, books or my heart; I will always search for God.