Alone on Thanksgiving

I really wish it was colder around this time.

L.A. makes it a bit hard to enjoy the holidays and here I am sweating in my tiny apartment waiting for…

something.

I don’t know what.

Maybe the miracle that a few more square feet would open up in here and allow room for a Christmas tree.

Who knows.

I’m hungry and can I be honest?

I’m not that much of a cook.

I bought pie for my job’s potluck which isn’t until tomorrow and that’s the only edible thing in here I keep thinking about.

I don’t really care for Thanksgiving.

I think I did until this point and the more I think about it, the more I wish I was home with my family.

Is that sad?

I don’t really know anymore.

And I wish I wrote more than I do now.

The winter season always gets me in the writing mood.

It makes me start things I never finish and wish I had a book to show for.

Instead, I pace back and forth in 200 sq. ft. trying to figure out what to do next with my life.

As much as I love running a business (if I actually am running a business), I hate it.

Does that make sense?

It’s like the minute I get the opportunity to do nothing, I get reminded of all the things I must do.

Does it ever end?

Probably not.

Right now, I’m not a fan of the holidays.

I’m a fan of sleeping in all morning and watching movies in bed, not worrying about the success of my career.

I really wish I wrote more.

So, here I am.

It’s Thanksgiving and I’m alone.

Alone, with a tiny apartment to clean, waiting for the miracle that I might become a great writer someday;

or that I may run a successful business,

or that I may have a bigger apartment soon;

or maybe even a house.

It’s Thanksgiving and I wish I had something other to say than this.

It’s warm and I wish it was colder.

I wish I was with my family and I really wish I had some good food.

Welp,

here I go.

Off to continue the rest of this day and maybe…

I don’t know… maybe,

something will happen.

What are you doing today?

I hope you enjoy yourself.

I’ll be here..

-Natalia

Published by Natalia Lee

Natalia Lee is a spiritual mentor, writer, and artist. She embodies many types of spiritual practice, one importantly being the Taoist principle of living in harmony with the flow of nature. Another is her expression of devotion toward Source through Bhakti Yoga. At 19 years old, Natalia moved from her hometown in New York City to Los Angeles to begin her pilgrimage of world travel and spiritual inquisition. Since then, she has tackled many personal achievements including the publishing of multiple poetry collections, e-books, physical art pieces, a podcast, and a personal blog & brand.

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