How can I be so hateful?

There’s something interesting about the spiritual path.

The further you dive deep, the more you realize how much this reality is a paradox.

People begin to follow this route looking for happiness and maybe emotional freedom. Sometimes they get that—to a certain extent.

But most of the time, you fall.

Far down and hard.

On this path, you learn to Love. Love everything and everyone.

In the beginning, it’s the exact opposite. At least in my experience.

And not to say I just started, but I very much might as well have.

Now, I’m not going around hating everything I see (at least I hope not) but it feels that way.

I can’t stand the media,

I can’t stand things that have no matter (what actually does matter?),

I despise over indulgence,

I’m annoyed by my own attitude most of the time,

I hate being sarcastic,

I’m in a constant battle with my ego,

I can’t stand being around others and their egos;

nothing.

And I’m supposed to look at this all with the loving eyes my Baba would.

How do you do it so well?

How am I to truly be in love with living, when I’m separate from You?

“But you’re not seperate.”

Tell it to my persona.

It’s Tuesday and sometimes I wish I would just shut up.

Shut up my thoughts, my mind, my Self.

I’ll be here!

Natalia

Published by Natalia Lee

Natalia Lee is a spiritual mentor, writer, and artist. She embodies many types of spiritual practice, one importantly being the Taoist principle of living in harmony with the flow of nature. Another is her expression of devotion toward Source through Bhakti Yoga. At 19 years old, Natalia moved from her hometown in New York City to Los Angeles to begin her pilgrimage of world travel and spiritual inquisition. Since then, she has tackled many personal achievements including the publishing of multiple poetry collections, e-books, physical art pieces, a successful podcast, and personal blog.

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