It’s 4:44 and I’m drowning

Drowning in boxes,

drowning in sorrow.

Call it seasonal depression,

call it my life.

Another day, another day. How the sun and moon revolve around one another playing flirtatious games with my heart.

It’s 4:44 and nights of no matter run on and on through my mind.

People I have no care for;

moments not worth a memory.

I crave to be out. I crave to act. And create. And express myself to the fullest—-

How can I? When I’m drowning…

Drowning in boxes,

drowning in sorrow.

The sun sets longer than it usually does and sometimes that doesn’t make me feel too well.

The heat lingers in my room as I swirl through boxes contemplating things I shouldn’t.

I ask you don’t bother me or ask me to come out;

I wish I could oh, don’t you see me drowning?

Where is the time?

Where is the space?

It’s all the same, it’s all the same;

numbers through the air, playing it’s games.

How I wish I could go back,

where things didn’t matter,

I could breathe above water,

and tread a bit longer.

I can’t think of a time where it was that easy;

all I remember is drowning.

Drowning in boxes,

drowning in sorrow.


Published by Natalia Lee

Natalia Lee is a spiritual mentor, writer, and artist. She embodies many types of spiritual practice, one importantly being the Taoist principle of living in harmony with the flow of nature. Another is her expression of devotion toward Source through Bhakti Yoga. At 19 years old, Natalia moved from her hometown in New York City to Los Angeles to begin her pilgrimage of world travel and spiritual inquisition. Since then, she has tackled many personal achievements including the publishing of multiple poetry collections, e-books, physical art pieces, a podcast, and a personal blog & brand.

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