It’s mid-day, and I’m sorry I didn’t write

Something within me knew if I were to write the words I did on Sunday night, I’d leave this page empty the following day.

I tried not to listen but instead I write this to you now.

Yesterday was hard but it could’ve been harder.

In all my lessons learned from Zen masters, Sufis, bodhisattvas, yogis, mystics, and more, I know I shouldn’t attach.

But as a human, it is in my egoistic nature to do so. And it is in our innate truest nature, to not do so.

So yet again, I begin to spin amongst the whirlpools of anxiety–drowning, in the dark.

Yesterday morning I told myself I’d leave it up to God— that I surrender to all and every outcome (as I usually do but always seem to have to reiterate to myself).

I said it didn’t matter what happened, either way I’ll be OK. And I know that to be true.

It was only within a few hours of the day that I found myself filled with tears in the face of disappointment.

It’s OK, I told myself. Do not attach. God has another plan.

And I kept telling myself that because for some reason, the tears wouldn’t stop.

At that moment, I just wanted to go home—to disappear.

But I did what I had to do and I got my money back. And I let fate continue to pave the way.

This morning I woke up with a new perspective, more confidence, more faith.

I don’t have any answers but I do know my destiny. I do know my path.

So I write this to you now while the Universe speaks to me so subtly.

Telling me to go outside.

Breathe the new air.

And know it’s OK.

My message to you today is that we may not always have the answers and we may not always be for sure what happens next;

But know that the Universe makes no mistakes.

Existence is so divine in itself it’s as if every step you take, a new life is born;

a leaf falls from a tree,

a bud sprouts for the first time.

Have faith in it all. You will only be disappointed if you disappoint yourself first.

-Natalia

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