This morning I didn’t know how to get up

There’s something in the morning that always gets us to get out of bed.

I say this as I lay in mine, deciding when to start the day.

These past few weeks have been a battle for me when it comes to getting things done—switching back and forth between productive motivation and bed-ridden depression.

Yesterday I firmly told myself, I will wake up early, as I should. This has never been a problem for me before.

I think back to my apartment and those early morning risings. Yoga, breakfast, studying, meditation.

I think about my sadhana now and how not much structure is held within it.

All of these thoughts came about this morning, the second it was time for me to get out of bed.

As usual, my alarm goes off and I immediately sit up to get into the “wake up” headspace.

I’m sitting on my bed in a half daze thinking to myself how much time I actually have until I start work.

This is another way of saying, I was wondering how much more time I actually have to sleep.

But as I decide to start laying back down ’til my next alarm goes off, I think, why do I even want to get up this early anyways? What do I even have to do?

Then my mind starts to sort of skim through all of things I actually have to take care of and how they could all wait ’til after 9 AM.

Then, I think about my sadhana.

I thought about how I actually hadn’t constructed one since I moved out of my old place and now every morning when I try to wake up at the same time, there’s nothing set in stone for me to do at that hour. So I go back to sleep.

Moral of this is, there’s always something that gets us out of bed.

For some, it’s the urge to pee. For others, it’s their hunger, their jobs, their children, or anything that needs to be attended to at a certain time.

These are mostly the things that get us out of bed.

For me, it was my sadhana. My spiritual practice.

At 5 AM it’s sort of hard to construct one on the spot when you’re half asleep. I don’t recommend this at all.

When battling with something like depression or even the difficulty of just getting up in the morning, something needs to be set in stone. An obligation.

Even tasks like these may not always help but from my experience, it’s a start.

When I woke up this morning, I looked for something I was obligated to do. Something I told myself I would do. And today, that was just to wake up early.

I said I would wake up early and if I didn’t I would be breaking a promise to myself.

This will not always work. So I suggest a task.

Maybe write a journal prompt, watch a video, drink a glass of water.

Whatever it is do it;

you’ll be happy you did.

-Natalia

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