With runs of back and forth,
up and down,
side to side–switches; too fast.
Sometimes you just can’t.
With so much noise to turn off the noise, I get tired of my own mind very quickly.
There was a moment this weekend where I sat atop a mountain with loved ones and we were all very quiet.
No one spoke a sound yet the voice of my beloved teacher, Ram Dass, echoed in the silence.
Just be here now. That’s all there is. Here we are, being, here, right now.
And it echoed and echoed.
Even while we walked down the hill, passed the clouds, into the night.
I remember before all of that, I looked for God.
I said to myself, I know you’re here. How come sometimes I can’t feel it?
And God laughed the usual one it does and showed me into things I already knew.
In moments like that I have to laugh back.
“Sorry,” I always say. Like for a second I forgot the oneness of it all.
I live for this stuff, I have to admit. Even writing things like this.
I wrote a poem a few days ago expressing how I couldn’t care less if someone read this.
To some extent, I don’t. But there’s a part of me that wants to scream everything I write to the entire world even if they don’t like it.
I DON’T CARE IF YOU LIKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY! JUST LISTEN!
Isn’t that the Ego though?
The wanting to be heard?
I think about that and also think about how I enjoy this so much–in the long run, it doesn’t really matter.
I write this blog post today because I promised myself I would. And damn does it feel good.
I hope you have a wonderful week;