It’s been a little colder now,

And I can’t help but to feel myself surrounded by trees with lights and songs of joy.

Maybe I’m just drowning in the depths of love—the warmth of my lover’s arms.

I wish to give him the world;

instead I can only wish it for myself

and in return, give him my all.

The holidays are coming faster than I ever expected and I’m thinking things I wish I wouldn’t.

The Tao says,

Carrying body and soul and embracing the one, can you avoid separation?

Living a regular city life,

working the usual minimum wage job,

how can I not have these thoughts?

How can I not worry about paying dues,

Or how I may eat next,

How can I not?

How does one stay in a single thought of love, acceptance, and grace in a constant state?

As aware of this as I am, it’s still hard not to wonder.

Lately, I’ve been speaking my truth.

I remember the first time I told someone my life mission.

I shook,

and I shook,

and I finished my sentence while breaking a sweat yet–still,

I meant every word.

Since then I have nothing holding my voice back.

For when your intentions are spoken out loud,

nothing can stop you.

Not only has speaking my truth made me feel more powerful and confident,

I’ve gained a community and support system behind me, pushing me forward every minute.

My Sangha.

I met a man who has traveled more than I, has experienced much, and met many souls;

within our first few sentences exchanged, I told him my mission.

The next thing he asked me in excitement was, Do you have a Sangha?

And for a second, I thought.

I told him I believe everyone I meet is within my Sangha.

For I feel their love, and compassion—guiding me; creating community.

I imagine all the places I’ve been and lived.

I think of all the faces I’ve loved,

I’ve hurt,

I’ve helped.

I think of their lives and their missions; and how no matter where they are or what they do,

I truly love them.

In these times I find myself in and out of thought holes.

One’s I wish I didn’t find myself in.

Yet I have kind words and hands to pull me out when I need.

And I’m thankful for every moment of it.

I hope you have someone like this too.

I hope you have your Sangha.

Natalia

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